Summer of Me

I was just reading a book (fiction) about a woman who took the whole summer off to do only the things she wanted to do and called it "the summer of me". So, naturally, I am wondering how I might do the same. Fall is opening its golden gates now as I am writing. I could drop everything and have "the fall of me". Just the sound of this makes me wonder if I would be creating that exact result. The fall of me!

I will imagine what it would be like to do only what I want to do this fall. I would need time. This would require that I quit my job. The job that I have been working at for only 3 weeks and that I actually love. Does this mean that I should keep my job since I actually want to keep it?

The next thing I would do is to stop doing laundry. Yes! This is what I want to do! Stop doing laundry for 3 months! I have been saving for a new front loading washer and dryer and dreaming how it is going to save so much time and money and be fun to use. I have even picked the color and model that I am going to buy. I really want those new appliances. Laundry is a necessity that even I cannot forego if I want to wear clean underwear. I am sold that the new washer and dryer will save time and energy and have creative new gadgets. I do adore gadgets and I will want to do laundry.

I could move to the beach to be by the ocean. I love the ocean. I love those lazy days on the sand reading a good book and sipping a cold diet coke. I love the sound of the waves and the salty moist air in my lungs. I love riding the waves on a boogey board. I love most everything about being by the ocean. That is what I would do for the “fall of me”. I will leave my job and spend the money that I am saving for the new washer and dryer. I could do that for the ocean. I will leave my family for three months. Can I do that?

I am troubled that I would have to sleep in a bed by myself! I don’t like sleeping by myself. I want to sleep beside that angel that I have slept beside most every night for years. He would have to quit his job and come with me. Not going to happen!

I could leave for the beach if my teenage son would stall off getting any older while I am away. I do not want to miss any of his last years at home. I want to watch him get ready for the school dances and his crazy Halloween antics. I want to be here when he brings his friends home for massive amounts of food. I want to hear his laughter and his prayers before he leaves me for his own life.

I want to be here for my birthday in late September. My kids are planning something special. They have hinted just enough wonderful to make me to want to have a birthday this year. I couldn’t love them more if I tried.

One thing for sure. I won’t miss cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But, I will miss sitting at that resplendent dining room table dressed with my china and crystal and its chairs stuffed with those beloved people that I call my family. There is an indescribable feeling of pride and love that is served up in deep ladles when we gather at that table. I want to be there.

It is good that I am writing all this down. I am beginning to realize that I am already living “the fall of me”. I wake up each morning just to live this life. Not everyday but most days. I don’t think it is necessarily selfish to want those “summer of me” times. It is only inaccurate to think that I don’t already live them.